autumnal gripes pt.2

Reasons why I wish I could grow a proper beard:

  1. Face warmth
  2. Manliness, grrr
  3. You either look double hard, or super intelligent. Or both
  4. Handy disguise
  5. Lack of shaving required
  6. Instant respect from everyone, everywhere
  7. Food storage
  8. Something to stroke as I sit there looking thoughtful and intelligent, whereas I’m actually daydreaming about having a dog sized elephant as a pet or something

Unfortunately, my beard veers sharply from dark brown, to peroxide blonde and then to large barren areas of nothing. As a result; I should probably find other ways to achieve these dizzy heights of, manliness, possibly by walking round with a monocle and my balls hanging out.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: